Smog Cutter
864 N. Virgil Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90029
map

Some dive bars have no need for a glowing introduction. They simply exist, and will continue to exist, whether you like it or not. As to charms, the Smog Cutter has too few to mention, it is the antithesis of Hollywood nightlife. We at the World Dive Bar Tour wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Smog Cutter is generally shabby. The neighborhood is dodgy. The customer is most definitely wrong in all disputes. It has decrepit bathrooms. There is a rumor of vermin. And finally, the bartenders exhibit an overbearing insistence on Karaoke participation with a two drink minimum policy - two drinks which are not as cheap as typically found in such establishments. In short, the bar is perfectly bad in the finest divey manner. The only way it could be better (i.e. worse) is if they flaunted basic health and safety laws on a more predictable basis…..

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Travis, host

for The World Dive Bar Tour Executive Committee

Ray "Bones" Barboni: “I’m from Miami-fuckin’-Beach and you wanna show me the ocean, huh? And what about sun, does it ever shine around here, or is this smog around all the time?”
Limo Driver With Sign: “They say the smog is the reason we have such beautiful sunsets.”
Ray "Bones" Barboni: “That’s what they say, huh? What a bunch of fuckin’ bullshit.”
~Get Shorty(1995)

Red Lion Tavern
2366 Glendale Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039
map

In the second half of August, the WDBT will celebrate summer with two outstanding beer-centric establishments. While all dive bars serve beer to some extent, few reach the awesome range of the Dixie Cup Coors Light races at Big Deans Cafe (looking forward to August 31st) or the extensive selection of authentic German beer at this week’s stop, the Red Lion Tavern. Even considering the current explosion of high-end establishments dedicated to the Das Land Der Dichter und Denker, nowhere in LA will you find a Gasthaus so fine.

The Red Lion has been filling pints, steins, and large glass boots with Reinheitsgebot blessed beverages for over 50 years. While the bar started out as an English Pub, it quickly grew into its current format which provides: a lovely upper level beer garden where the sausage sampler platter reigns supreme; a small second floor bar and dining room where local kids hold trivia nights various evenings; and the ground floor dining room where it feels best to tuck into a plate of nurmberger bratwurst or share a lovely bauernschmaus while the guy at the piano tosses out various renditions of show tunes.

The outstanding beer selection can be found at each of the three bar areas where the various Warsteiners, Franziskaners, Spatens, and the classic Hofbrau Lager (the famous Oktoberfest brew which got its start in 1589) are available for relatively dive bar friendly prices. They also serve wine and cocktails, but it is hard to understand why you would order any. The only truly acceptable alternate order might be a tumbler of Jagermeister, but only if sipped slowly while reading Goethe in the native tongue.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. There will likely be some of us catching dinner somewhere on the premises beforehand as well. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own and we’ll find you.

Carpe Drink’em,

Travis, host

for The World Dive Bar Tour Executive Committee

“I was not the lion, but it fell to me to give the lion’s roar.” ~Winston Churchill

]]> http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/2011/08/15/august-17th-2011-red-lion-tavern/feed/ http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/2010/11/05/november-10th-2010-tiki-ti/ http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/2010/11/05/november-10th-2010-tiki-ti/#comments Fri, 05 Nov 2010 08:28:15 +0000 World Dive Bar Tour http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/2010/11/05/november-10th-2010-tiki-ti/ WEDNESDAY, Novemeber 10th, 2010 

Tiki Ti
4427 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90027
map

There are some evenings when we must depart from usual form, fly far from the typical dive bar conventions, and stray into territory not often seen by those on the tour. While this often means far flung destinations (the valley) shady locales (venice) or the edge of the gentriverse (downtown) this week we will be smack dab in the middle of typical dive bar territory but it is the bar itself which is so different.

In fact this may very well be the most unique bar on the tour so far. Tiki Ti, as its name implies, is a Tiki Bar… one of the last of its kind. It doesn’t offer cheap beer or wine (other than a 10-year-old room temperature Amstel behind the bar available for $50, so they say) and rather serves only strong tropical concoctions in the neighborhood of 10 dollars apiece. This is tour worthy, as each drink easily has the alcohol of two, so be careful with your consumption, and plan accordingly. But we caution you, while you may be temped to knock back a Blue Hawaiian (Rum, Vodka, Blue Curacao, & Galliano) followed by a Scorpion (Lime & Fruit Juices, Virgin Island Rum, Jamaican Rum) and then a Stealth (Kahlua, 151 Rum, Amaretto, Grand Marnier, & Baileys) it might not be good for your morning. In addition to the rather epic beverages, you can smoke cigarettes, cigars, and pipes to your hearts content (and lungs determent) as the bar is family owned and operated, a holdover from a simpler time in the golden state.

There is a rumor that the famous Ray’s Mistake (made with Botanic Liqueurs, Passion Fruit, & Dark Rum) is available for 5 dollars before 9PM on Wednesdays, so you may well find us there just a bit before the normal hour. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis? - WDBT Co-czars

"Bali Ha’i will whisper

In the wind of the sea:

"Here am I, your special island!

Come to me, come to me!"" - Bloody Mary : South Pacific

El Cid
4212 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90029
map

This year’s calendar presents an intriguing conundrum to the WDBT Executive Committee, with the unrivaled boozing holiday of old St. Patty’s falling on our beloved Wednesdays for the first time in the tour’s existence. You might think that such an astrological alignment would be considered auspicious by your humble schedule-makers, but that would make you an idiot. St. Patty’s is a horrible holiday for a dive bar true-believer. The worst. We on The Tour believe firmly in the sanctity of the lonely barstool where a man can drown his sorrows without some pop-collared brohamulus spilling green beer all over his backside. Every St. Patty’s, our favorite dives are swarmed by such cretins — in particular the haunts with Irish-ish names — leaving us to seek refuge in a location overlooked by the unkempt, "Kiss Me, I’m Shit-Faced" t-shirt wearing masses.

Enter El Cid, a Spanish-style Flamenco bar with a sprawling patio that provides plenty of room to escape any invasions of beshamrocked interlopers who might successfully navigate the bar’s treacherous brick staircase entryway. El Cid features cheap drinks for a mostly reasonable price, live music most nights, and is known in particular for its rather charming weekend flamenco shows. But on Wednesdays, the place is as dead as Cory Haim. Which is exactly what we’re looking for.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive late and find people having too good a time with their green boas and leprechaun charms, odds are we’ve called an audible and headed for Tiki Ti or the 4100 to try our luck elsewhere on this highly unpredictable night for dives.

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

Smog Cutter
864 N. Virgil Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90029
map

Step through the curtain into in this legendary Silver Lake establishment, and you’ll promptly be greeted by one of three Thai sisters, eager to check your ID. Don’t worry if you happen to be under age, though, as these ladies wouldn’t hesitate to serve a 12 year old — the thoroughness of ID checking is simply so that they can memorize your name, and call you by it for the rest of the night. Under ordinary circumstances, this level of interest in their bar’s patrons would be considered an exemplary model of customer service, except that the things they’ll be calling you for the rest of the night will not be very nice.

This is the Smog Cutter, after all — embodying either the best, or the worst, of all things dive. The place reeks of mildew, the service goes out of their way to insult you, and the drinks are warm and, surprisingly, a little overpriced given just how dire the surroundings are. But still we on the World Dive Bar Tour Executive Committee not only keep coming back for more, but have granted the Smog Cutter the honor of kicking off our 2010 calendar — a year that will undoubtedly be our best and boldest yet.

Many anecdotes come to mind to sum up all that is the Smog Cutter, from instances of crotch grabbings by the bartenders, to glass-shattering displays of karaoke madness, but it really all comes down to one member of the Executive Committee sitting with her hand on the bar, as a cockroach came scampering over her arm. With a quick "whack!", the cockroach was disposed of by a quick-thinking Czar, but the noise caused Sunshine, the legendary lead bartender, to come running.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Sunshine, "You kill Susie!"

As Sunshine cradled the dead roach in her hand, she took a closer look and, with a sigh of relief exclaimed…

"Ah, don’t worry. It just George."

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"You must have known that I was lonely, because you came to my rescue. And I know that this must be heaven, how could so much love be inside of you?"

- Stevie Wonder

Cha Cha Lounge
2375 Glendale Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039
Map

This week the tour marks a truly special occasion. Very rarely has a dive bar, previously on the path of velvet ropes and crowded excess, reversed its tact, dropping out of the public eye, some might say even falling from grace. Or as we feel, falling back into our good graces. This week, at the Cha Cha Lounge, the WDBT welcomes a wonderful spot back into the fold. And like the father of the Prodigal Son, we have nothing but open arms and happiness for the return.

Blame it on the proliferation of new nightspots along the stretch of Sunset Blvd. between Downtown and Hollywood, blame it on the resurgence of the Red Lion Tavern across the street (how we loved thee so), or even blame the upcoming global economic apocalypse, but the Cha Cha has lost the capacity crowds and the meat market mentality which disqualified its inclusion before. Now, the bar is just the type of place which reminds us why we love living in this bacchanalian city. Stepping into the bar is like stepping into the strange love child of Tiki culture and a Mexican Pinata. There is a lovely horseshoe shaped bar, clad in split bamboo and topped with a palm frond canopy (the Tiki), surrounded by dark black banquettes under arched window-like mirrors and no less than a few hundred velvet paintings of rottweilers, kittens, unicorns, the occasional pin-up girl and a ceiling covered by Sombreros and associated bric-a-brac (the Pinata).

Behind the bar is a collection of Foosball tables, a photo booth, and an infamous vending machine. The fellow drinkers will likely be a smattering of Silverlake regulars - including that guy from that that commercial for Best-Buy or Del-Taco or something and a few folks with creative haircuts. But they fit right in (or maybe we will) next to the life size Willie Nelson cut out near the entrance.

A surprise at every turn, the Cha Cha lounge promises to bring us a quality evening to celebrate the return of a quality dive. And the PBR is $2.50 on draft.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em!

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

Akbar
4356 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90029
Map

In celebration of the inaugural of our nation’s 44th President, The World Dive Bar Tour this week visits Akbar — Los Angeles’s best dive with a scary, muslim-sounding name. Join us in celebration, or, if you’re one of those rare Hollywood Republicans, you can stop by and embrace the downfall of our civilization in this den of liberal debauchery, where "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" was long-ago abolished in favor of a highly gay-friendly dance floor.

And Republicans, if dancing isn’t your thing, the separate bar area is a great place to drown your sorrows on drinks that balance Bush Recession® prices with an elitist flair, including a Wednesday special of $4 Cosmopolitans. Or, take up smoking on the sidewalk of Sunset Blvd, because with Socialized Health Care on the way, you might as well take steps to ensure you’re getting the most out of those increased taxes.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em!

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

Hyperion Tavern
1941 Hyperion Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90232

Due to 4th of July holiday conflicts our dive bar plans will take an unexpected turn. Rather than celebrate the upcoming holiday just under the Santa Monica pier at Big Deans (which has been held until July 16th) we will sweep into Silverlake for a dive bar you might have driven by a million times without ever knowing it was there. Note the address and cross streets carefully, look for an old school barber shop pole light marking the door of what seems to be a firetrap of a garage one spark from an insurance payout, and duck into one of the most unique bars we have ever been to.

The Hyperion Tavern has it quirks. There is only a small selection of beers available and none of the hard stuff, the walls are lined with a full collection of classic law books (the reason for such eludes explanation), two ornate chandeliers light the space hung from exposed rafters, and a small rickety stage anchors the south end of the room. But it is this very stage which brings us here tonight, as it is on this stage where you will take on Guitar Hero Night. Starting around 10pm (allowing some time for some pre-game beverages) the bartenders will boot up the overhead projector and eager patrons will take a number deli style for a chance to compete for the best face-melting guitar solo of the night. And if you are lucky the bartender might let you use their custom made full size axe.

The queue might fill up quick, so come early if you want to get in before the real heavy hitters appear out the woodwork. If your fingers are bit rusty it would be good to get in early as just like any good Karaoke bar, the queue can fill up quick when the real die-hards show up and then hold the floor like Gordon Brown before parliament.

Other nights of the week the Hyperion Tavern offers hipster DJ’s and wacky live bands but on Wednesdays it really shines, and luckily this is the night we go out on our dive bar mission.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

"I REMEMBER EVERYTHING! I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday. I was barely 17, and I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar. I don’t remember if it was a telecaster or a stratocaster, but I do remember that it had a heart of chrome and a voice like a horny angel! I don’t remember if it was a telecaster or a stratocaster, but I do remember that it wasn’t at all easy. It required the perfect combination of the right power chords and the precise angle from which to strike. The guitar bled for about a week afterward, and the blood was dark and rich like wild berries. The blood of the guitar was chuck berry red. The guitar bled for about a week afterward, but it rung out beautifully! And I was able to play notes that I had never even heard before. So…I…took my guitar and I smashed it against the wall! I smashed it against the floor! I smashed it against the body of a varsity cheerleader! I smashed it against the hood of a car. Smashed it against a 1981 Harley Davidson! The Harley howled in pain! The guitar howled in heat! And I ran up the stairs to my parents’ bedroom. Mommy and Daddy were sleeping in the moonlight. Slowly I opened the door, creeping in the shadows right up to the foot of their bed. I raised the guitar high above my head, and just as I was about to bring the guitar crashing down into the center of the bed my father woke up screaming, "STOP! WAIT A MINUTE! STOP IT, BOY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?! That’s not way to treat an expensive musical intrument!" And I said, "GOD DAMMIT DADDY! You know I love you. But you got a HELLUVA LOT TO LEARN ABOUT ROCK AND ROLL!!!!!"

– Meat Loaf

Smog Cutter
864 N. Virgil Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90029 (Silverlake)

Step through the curtain into in this legendary Silver Lake establishment, and you’ll promptly be greeted by one of three Thai sisters, eager to check your ID. Don’t worry if you happen to be under age, though, as these ladies wouldn’t hesitate to serve a 12 year old — the thoroughness of ID checking is simply so that they can memorize your name, and call you by it for the rest of the night. Under ordinary circumstances, this level of interest in their bar’s patrons would be considered an exemplary model of customer service, except that the things they’ll be calling you for the rest of the night will not be very nice.

This is the Smog Cutter, after all — embodying either the best, or the worst, of all things dive. The place reeks of mildew, the service goes out of their way to insult you, and the drinks are warm and, surprisingly, a little overpriced given just how dire the surroundings are. But still we on the World Dive Bar Tour Executive Committee not only keep coming back for more, but have granted the Smog Cutter the honor of kicking off our 2007 calendar — a year that will undoubtedly be our best and boldest yet.

Many anecdotes come to mind to sum up all that is the Smog Cutter, from instances of crotch grabbings by the bartenders, to glass-shattering displays of karaoke madness, but it really all comes down to one member of the Executive Committee sitting with her hand on the bar, as a cockroach came scampering over her arm. With a quick "whack!", the cockroach was disposed of by a quick-thinking Czar, but the noise caused Sunshine, the legendary lead bartender, to come running.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Sunshine, "You kill Susie!"

As Sunshine cradled the dead roach in her hand, she took a closer look and, with a sigh of relief exclaimed…

"Ah, don’t worry. It just George."

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"You must have known that I was lonely, because you came to my rescue. And I know that this must be heaven, how could so much love be inside of you?" - Stevie Wonder

Akbar
4356 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90029 (Silverlake)

Don’t be fooled by the name of this eclectic and slightly claustrophobic dive. You need neither a turban nor an entry on a terrorist watch list to get in the door. Named for the great 16th Century Persian conqueror of modern-day India who embraced foreign cultures, Akbar welcomes everyone from the diverse and alternate-lifestyle, Silverlake hipsters to the averages Joes from less smug parts of the city.

Don’t expect to find Golden Tee here. As is often the case in this part of town, the bars tend of have a little more "flare" inside, almost as if the owners had a degree in interior design. However, this doesn’t detract from its character. Order a cheap pitcher of Anchor Steam and cozy up in the cushioned seating area. If it’s full when you arrive, one of the patrons will most likely let you sit on their lap.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

With only 2 dives left this year, the Co-Czars are diligently preparing for the 2007 Tour. Visit www.WorldDiveBarTour.com and subscribe to our 2007 WDBT Google Calendar! Stay posted for the Official World Dive Bar Tour 2007 tour t-shirt. Available soon!

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always."

-Gandhi