Hank’s Bar
840 S Grand Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90017

This might be the most important dive bar of the year. It will be the first night after the epic election of 2008, and quite possibly the first dive bar night of a new epoch of humanity. Okay, maybe not an epoch of humanity, but surly a epoch of the next four years. And no matter if you are all about environmental conservation or conservative economic theory, you will find common ground in the conservative prices for your standard mixed drink and support the continued bar’o'diversity of the downtown food-web. No matter if you are way down with unconditional discussion or conditionally applied freedoms, don’t worry your little heart, we will be unconditionally welcomed with the liberty to drink as we please, on the condition we keep up on the tipping schedule. But there is one reminder of the new deal or the welfare state that cannot be ignored. There is free popcorn.

Located to one side of the entrance to the wonderfully shady Stillwell Hotel, Hanks bar was founded in 1959 by its late namesake, Hank Holzer (who unfortunately passed on in 1997), and is a gem of the type. The bar is approximately 8 times longer than it is wide, the TV’s are smaller than a typical shoebox, the jukebox is not connected to the internet, there seems to be a table in the back with a crock-pot, a microwave, a toaster, and a huge supply of mustard, and behind the bar (hopefully staffed by the wonderful Wanda) is the sign ‘Yesterdays Charm’.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

Club Tee Gee
3210 Glendale Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039

It’s Wednesday afternoon. Dive bar begins in a few short hours, and the drinking public is in a state of panic. The resident Czar expert on Club Tee Gee has gone AWOL. Fallen off the grid. Most likely off on another bender of raging on barley wine… or designing a middle school. You never know with that guy. Fear not though, for the World Dive Bar Tour always goes on.

Having never been to Club Tee Gee, I can tell you that it’s a bar on Glendale Blvd, with a neon sign in a funny font that looks like it says, "Club Tee Yee". Do not be fooled, though. The name of this bar is "Club Tee Gee", and that’s a very nice name for a bar. Although the name sounds somewhat like "Club Tiki", I am also reasonably certain that it is not a tiki bar. But it could be. You never know. Since I am also uncertain whether they take credit cards, I would also suggest bringing some cash. Even if they take credit cards, it’s always a good idea to carry some cash, just in case. With those details out of the way, I now implore you to join me this evening, in heading off into this great unknown.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & where the hell is Travis? - WDBT Co-czars

"It all adds up. He stole somebody’s hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard, tunneled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candied apple on his way to Mexico" — Maebe Funke

Hop Louie
950 Mei Ling Way
Los Angeles, CA 90012

Los Angeles’ official downtown Chinatown is an interesting place, caught between the rise of downtown development and the young professionals who live there and the rise of the vibrant Chinese communities hopscotching eastward out towards the Inland Empire. Our dive bar for this week is a hold out from both worlds. It’s simply refused to change in any way, shape, or form from the day it opened, right down to the ancient bartender whose surly demeanor and lack of polite language skills are quite legendary. But the good thing is he will likely be wearing a snappy vest and knows how to serve many of the quality tropical drinks of the pacific rim. It might just be the best place for a Singapore Sling this side of the Raffles Hotel.

For those out to join us, remember that the bar is located between Hill and Broadway in the tourist trap street-scape of Mei Ling Way. The only problem is someone forgot to tell the tourists. On this street Hop Louie might be a bit hard to find but wander around a bit, examine some storefronts, toss some spare change for good luck in the central fountain, and before long you’ll see the sign for the bar. Inside you’ll find a comfortably dim spot with a beautiful black lacquered bar, a jukebox with a wonderful selection, and a solid crowd of drinkers hoping for some collective abuse via the sometimes outrageously strong drinks or the aforementioned bartender.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,
Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

“Louie Louie, oh no
Me gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Louie Louie, oh baby
Me gotta go”
- Richard Berry (famously preformed by The Kingsmen)

Cosmos Saloon
333 E 1st St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012

For those who have followed the ebb and flow of dive bar for many years, the name Cosmos might sound very familiar. Last season, on an ill fated full moon, we attempted to visit this fine establishment. Unfortunately for the intrepid group of dive bar goers that night, on the dutch door of the bar entrance a handwritten note was posted. Written mostly Japanese characters, it was the final line in English which hurt the most. "Bar Close Tonight." Those assembled, who had gathered for the promise of a Japanese pre-’scent of a woman’ Al Pacino bartender, karaoke in languages we can’t even speak, and Suntory Whiskey, found solace in a nearby shady hostess bar followed by a local brewery.

On that night, just like General Douglas MacArthur in retreat from the Philippines in the face of Japanese aggression, we of the WDBT vowed to return.

This week marks the day we make good on that promise, and return to Little Tokyo. Where with the help of a few big bottles of Kirin, we will be belting out Japanese pop songs like regulars, smoking an odd cigarette, swapping stories with the old man who always seems to be firmly planted at the bar, and otherwise raising quite a ruckus. Comfortable with the knowledge that in this Cosmos, yes, we can all be a star. Just remember - no dancing.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

"Here we are. Earth. Full of things as usual."

-King of All Cosmos

Bar 107
107 4th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013

This week, the Would Dive Bar Tour heads downtown to visit one of the dwindling holds in this once-beleaguered city center. Wasn’t it just yesterday that any adventurous soul could find themselves downtown, tiptoe around questionable the sidewalks, and duck into a dark establishment to find a cheap drink within easy reach? Now there is a different movement afoot around our historic core, one which requires dress codes, cover charges and lines of credit; things well beyond the scope of our Wednesday night mandate.

Luckily, when converted from an old Latino gay bar several years ago to its present state, Bar 107 eschewed any of these trappings of gentrification and instead installed copious amounts of taxidermy, a 50’s style jukebox, mildly pornographic bible art, an extremely large doorman (if we are lucky), a few old school video games, a photo booth in the backroom, and tall cans of fine macro-brews (such as Pabst, Tecate, and rumblings of Olympia) for just a few dollars. While all this might seem like a bit much rest assured that it all hangs together for a ramshackle good time.

An item of note: the weekends can get a bit busy, with a DJ often spinning for the dance floor, sometimes a cover at the door, and as the bar is the official after party destination of the Los Angeles Derby Dolls. If you happen to duck in sometime late this Saturday, look for the celebrations of the winners of the first bout of 2008.

As it is our compulsion to visit such dives mid-week, we will miss such distractions and should expect plenty of room in the comfortable booths for a relaxing drink or two. As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,
Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-Czars

"One Hundred And Seven is the 28th Prime Number"
- Wikipedia

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Babe’s & Ricky’s Inn
4339 Leimert Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90008

In preparation for this week’s extension, I struggled to come up with a clever theme, a comedic riff, a piece of wit to astound and entertain you all. Alas, I found all of my attempts at humor unworthy of our destination. I am even ashamed that I could even consider being snarky about this place.

Babe’s & Ricky’s is the real deal. A blues icon in L.A.. It has seen good times and hard times. It’s hosted the likes of Cab Calloway, Duke Ellington, Ike Turner, Eric Clapton and John Lee Hooker. Birthed by ‘Mama’ Laura Mae Gross in 1964, this joint has remained vibrant, lively and timeless.

Prepare yourselves for the Dive Bar event too big to fit on a Wednesday. For a meager eight bucks, you’ll be treated to a performance by the immortal Mickey Champion and a soul-food dinner. Drinks are cheap. And the vibe is free.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00 . Come for one free drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Nate
Auxiliary Captain

"People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman! Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it’s so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!"

- Elwood Blues, The Blues Brothers

Cosmos Saloon - (Cinco de Mayo/WDBT Japanese Cultural Appreciation Month Pt. 1/Full Moon Extravaganza!)
333 East 1st St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012

For many years, Los Angeles stood as the only city in the world where a standard citizen would respond to an invitation to visit the city’s downtown region with, a cry of "but that’s so far away from everything!" We on the executive committee argue that this may not have been a bad thing. In a way, Los Angeles’ geographical fubaritude helped over the years to insulate its varied neighborhoods from becoming too… well… LA. Such was the case with the downtown of old, populated solely by lawyers, politicians, crackheads, jewelry merchants, and Crazy Gideon. But now, with the introduction of million dollar lofts, bouggie dress-coded bars, and some sort of alleged thing called "LA Live", that’s all changed.

"Little Pedros" became "Bordello", the Redwood got an elaborate pirate makeover, and just as quickly as joints like Broadway Bar and Golden Gopher sprouted up and earned Tour recognition just for being trailblazers in the downtown scene, pop-collared frat boys descended upon them to guzzle Newcastle and speak loudly of how drunk they got the night before. Yet in the shadow of this massive scene of development lies a largely untouched land called Little Tokyo, and a bar called Cosmos.

Manned by a tuxedo t-shirted gentleman resembling a Japanese pre-"Scent of a Woman" Al Pacino, and with a floor-plan approximately 3 feet wide by 200 feet long*, Cosmos stands with undeniable character as your place for cheap drinks with a Japanese flair, and karaoke the way it should be: primarily in languages you don’t even speak. But don’t worry, after a couple shots of whiskey or a round of big-bottled Kirin, you’ll be belting out Japanese pop songs like a regular, comfortable with the knowledge that in this Cosmos, you’re a star.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"Up there in the immensity of the Cosmos, an inescapable perception awaits us. National boundaries are not evident when we view the Earth from space. Fanatical ethnic, religious or national chauvinisms are a little difficult to maintain when we see our planet as a fragile blue crescent fading to become an inconspicuous point of light against the bastion and citadel of the stars." - Carl Sagan

"Jerry, it’s L.A., nobody leaves. She’s a seductress, she’s a siren, she’s a virgin, she’s a whore!" - Cosmo Kramer

*Note: This email not written by any of the assorted architects on the Executive Committee, and measurements may not necessarily be to accurate scale.

Little Pedro’s - Closed in 2007, reopened as "Bordello"
901 East 1st Street at Vignes
Los Angeles, CA 90012

We venture this week to the western banks of the mighty LA river, and the legendary watering hole known as Little Pedro’s. In days of yore, when brave travelers explored westward in covered wagons, those seeking the burgeoning metropolis of Los Angeles would arrive upon one final test of fortitude in the violent waters of the LA river, with a life or death decision to either pay for a ferry, ford ahead, or wait for low tide.

Those too timid to cross the stagnant 2 inch waters never saw that low tide, and remained on the eastern shore to found the settlements of Monterey Park, Montebello, and Commerce. Those daring souls who charged ahead would be treated on the other side to a stiff drink from a little man named Pedro, and thus, the legend was born.

Little Pedro’s was once a Moroccan inspired Mexican restaurant, converted into a cop bar, before ultimately being converted into an artist district watering hole for downtown loft-dwellers. This most recent conversion was achieved with the addition of a large polar bear, shuffleboard, and Stella Artois on tap at a reasonable price. DJs occasionally spin music, but fret not, as the bar can not be considered hipster when there’s still an overweight ponytailed man with gang tattoos sleeping in the booth next to you.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams." - Pedro Calderon de la Barca