3rd Annual SP Classic
RED LINE TOUR

FIRST HOLE:
Phillippe’s French Dip
1001 N. Alameda St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012

More than a year and a half has passed since we last had a contest of champions . This year we will be giving the San Pedro greens keepers* a respite. This year we will be taking the tour below the streets of LA! We will tee off just outside of Union Station at Philippe’s and enjoy the history of railroads depicted on the walls. From there, we will all buy $5 Metro Day Passes (as a greens fee) and hop on on the subway to our next set of holes. We will continue following the Red Line stopping at bars along the way until we reach Hollywood.

For those unfamiliar with the game, Bar Golf combines the best elements of a pub crawl with a variety of rules derived from that fabled club and ball sport invented by the Dutch and popularized by the Scotts. Each bar serves as a different hole, with a scorecard of drinks of varying difficulty corresponding to golf nomenclature of "Pars", "Birdies", "Eagles" and so on. Other familiar golf concepts also apply, including water hazards (vomiting penalty) and mulligans (spilt beverages). Bear in mind that, whereas in real golf, shooting a hole in one on every hole is merely highly improbable, in bar golf, attempting to do so will result in a hospital visit and stomach pumping. Bar golf is a sport of moderation and pacing, where the tortoise oftentimes does beat the hare.

Some of the holes we will be visiting include World Dive Bar Tour favorites like the White Horse Inn and Powerhouse. We have added a number of new venues like Gallery Bar, nestled in the bosom of the Biltmore Hotel and the MacArthur Park flavor of the Tango Room.

Come to compete; come to caddy*; come to watch. Golf wear is encouraged. If you want to compete or would like to volunteer to caddy, please RSVP to divebar@worlddivebartour.com (or post a note saying so on the facebook invite wall) so that we can arrange transportation and caddies accordingly. This year’s winner will receive the coveted ‘green jacket’ with commemorative patch, and all competitors will receive prizes fitting this vaunted occasion.

For the first time this year, golfers who finish the course will get to compete in a bonus whole where a particularly garish set of golfwear can get them a whole in one, a birdie or an eagle.

Carpe Drink’em,

Nate, Auxiliary Captain

*Greens keeper: Dive Bar Proprietors
** Caddy: Designated Driver, score keeper, shepherd

View Red Line Tour in a larger map

St. Nick’s
8450 W. 3rd Street
Los Angeles, CA 90048
map

It’s a Holiday Miracle! In recognition of an incredibly awesome 2009, and in the season’s spirit of giving, the World Dive Bar Tour Executive Committee has added a bonus venue to the calendar: St. Nick’s, located in the shadow of the Bev Center for convenient post-shopping libations.

Featuring decent pub grub and drinks that make up for mild priciness with their respectable volume ($7 gets you a mixed drink, but it fills a pint glass), St. Nick’s is an excellent casual mid-week watering hole that stands, with the passing of The Coronet Pub, as the only oasis in the vast dive wasteland between West LA and East Hollywood.

Additionally, our cleverness should be acknowledged in that the bar is named for the noted Turkish gift-giver and patron saint of pawnbrokers, St. Nicholas. As we all remember from fond childhood memories, over the centuries the legend of St. Nicholas was stripped of his Middle-Eastern appearance to more closely resemble the Europeans who worshipped him (just like what they did to Jesus), and this once frail desert-dwelling Saint now appears during the Christmas season as a jolly, fat white guy from the North Pole, extolling the virtues of shopping at Macys and drinking Coca Cola. Associations between his activities and the pawnbrokers for whom he patrons have also been stripped from most folklore, despite remaining a common occurrence during depressed economic times. Merry Christmas!

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9:00 and gets really interesting by 10:00.  Come for one drink, or stay for one too many, bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drinkem,

Alex, Damien, and Travis — WDBT Co-czars

Kid: Your beard’s not real.
Willie: No Shit! It was real, but I got sick and all the hair fell out.
Kid: How come?
Willie: I loved a woman who wasn’t clean.
Kid: Mrs. Santa?
Willie: No it was her sister.

–Bad Santa

Maeve’s Residuals
11042 Ventura Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 91604
map

A great Los Angeles dive has that special ability to hide in plain sight, in that anonymous strip mall that you drove by a thousand times and never gave a second glance. Stand on a corner and boldly declare your presence to the world at large, and your divy intentions will soon be overrun by douchebags (The Gaslight, we’re looking at you…), which is why, at least in this regard, the nearly impossible to find Residuals is tops in the city. Without a GPS system or a trusty Valley sherpa, Residuals is impossible to detect while driving this busy stretch of Ventura Blvd., its location buried far from the curb, between a torta shop and a vegan fast food joint (this is still LA, after all).

The most noticeable landmark when giving directions to Residuals is its adjacency to its more popular neighbor, the pseudo-dive and British Pub, The Fox and Hounds — enough so that in front of Maeve’s Residuals sits a sign declaring "NO PARKING FOR FOX & HOUNDS!" Were this merely battle of adjacency, this rivalry would be nothing more than a footnote, but it must be mentioned that Residuals proudly serves Guinness on tap (for $5) in the proper manner of letting your pint settle first under a neon shamrock. They broadcast every Red Sox game, too. And, one gets the sense that the grizzled old man mumbling to himself in a booth is an escaped IRA bomb-maker plotting for the inevitable escalation to violance against this bar’s fish and chip serving Protestant neighbor.

Much like the nation of Ireland’s recent emergence from the middle-ages, Residuals is struggling to find its place in the modern world. The bar is spotlessly clean, they offer free WiFi, some sort of Internet-based trivia contraption, and are down with all the latest social networking trends. And yet, it remains mostly empty, since looked at from afar, it appears to be a backwards island of savages adjacent to the enlightened Brits next door. But we on the tour… we remember the Easter of 1916.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9pm and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many, bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drinkem,

Alex, Damien & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

Irish Times
3267 Motor Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90034 (Palms)
Map

Los Angeles has long been known for its poor emulation of the cultural trappings from other parts of the world, which is why if you’ve been to one Irish pub in LA, you’ve been to them all. We’ve been lead to believe that "authentic" Irish pubs these days are decorated with glossy, varnished bars, shamrock bric-a-brac, and plasma screens — the kinds of places that are packed to the brim every St. Patrick’s Day with underage college students who can’t hold their liquor. One trip to the land of majesty would quickly clear up this misconception…or you could just visit Irish Times with WDBT this week.

While all the amateurs are nursing hangovers and oxycleaning the vomit out of their clothes, WDBT is hitting up the only dive-worthy, authentic Irish pub in town. Capturing the ambiance of a quiet, Dublin watering hole, Irish Times offers Guinness on tap served by an acid-tongued Irish bartender (she’s really from Ireland, folks) in a dark , cozy space, where the pint is truly mightier than the game on TV. But, should you need additional entertainment, Irish Times provides some dive bar essentials like Golden Tee golf, 75 cent pool tables, and a juke box full of the best rock n’ roll.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em!

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

Bay Shore Lanes
234 Pico Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90405

These are trying times. Gas and food prices record highs, two wars, the economy in shambles, your 401k all but vanished, corruption, lobbyists, poverty, Cancer/AIDS, the beginning of hurricane season, and then that friggin earthquake just now interrupting one Czar’s attempt to write this email. But there does exist a giant, glowing beacon of hope amid all the despair, and I’m not just talking about Shark Week (every night this week on the Discovery Channel). For in this town, at this time, I’m talking about a thing called The World Dive Bar Tour, and remembering the words once uttered by a man with far greater obstacles stacked in his path. Timeless words. The words, "Fuck it dude, let’s go bowling."

Join us at Santa Monica’s Bay Shore Lanes for the 2008 World Dive Bar Tour Bowling Night Spectacular: a celebration of all that is right with the world, where we can collectively forget, if only for a moment, all that is wrong. Order up a white russian or an oat soda from a bartender who’s been there as long as the bar itself, join us on the lanes and watch all your troubles roll away. In the words of another timeless hero, "Wooooooooooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!"

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

"I want you to know somthing. You and me, it’s not gonna be a one-way street. ‘Cause I don’t believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I’m driving. So, here’s some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it’s Shark Week." - Tracy Jordan

Big Dean’s Muscle In
1615 Ocean Front Walk
Santa Monica, CA 90401

The World Dive Bar Tour Independence Day celebration is here — albeit a couple weeks late — and what better way to enjoy a cool summer night than by invading the best beach bar on the west side, Big Dean’s. Like last year, the amazing staff at Big Dean’s is staying open extra late for us, so come thirsty, pack an extra liver, and bring lots of friends.

As the beaches south of Wilshire have become more gentrified over the years, there’s something to be said for the one bar that remains true to its roots and refuses to sell lattes and panini sandwiches. It’s burgers and beer at this place, and they’ve been known to kick people out for uttering the word “focaccia.” Order any of the fine selection of draught beers in any of three sizes. Damien suggests a Venti Coors light with the cheeseburger. Yes, the kitchen will be open and provides a host of victuals to satiate everyone from the ravenous surfer to the derelict vagrant.

Aside from the menu, it’s Big Dean’s character that sets the place apart from its neighboring burger stands — the character of over 100 years of devoted business. Little has changed inside since the early days of business, from the ice box (now a converted refrigerator) to the old, empty boxes of Chamblis and Blush, which merely remind us that wine used to come from a spigot.

Finding Big Dean’s can be somewhat challenging, so use your Google Map. It’s located right on the boardwalk (at beach level), behind the carousel as you walk out on the pier. If you can smell hotdogs and buy carnival tickets, you’ve gone too far. Parking is a little tricky unless you roll up on a bike, so we suggest street parking on Ocean or pulling into the parking structure at 2nd and Colorado, which is free for 3 hours. Don’t bother with the beach lots. They close at 6pm.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

]]> http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/2008/07/14/july-16th-2008-big-deans-muscle-in/feed/ http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/2007/07/10/july-11th-2007-backstage-bar-grill/ http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/2007/07/10/july-11th-2007-backstage-bar-grill/#comments Wed, 11 Jul 2007 00:38:00 +0000 admin http://www.worlddivebartour.com/v1/?p=18 WEDNESDAY, July 11th, 2007

Backstage Bar & Grill
10400 Culver Blvd
Culver City, CA 90232

Don’t let this establishment’s proper name fool you. Unlike other "Bar & Grill" establishments you may come across that feature the bar-going atmosphere of an Applebee’s, the "& Grill" portion of Backstage is strictly there to put the face of legitimacy on bar tabs expensed by Sony lot employees from across the street. Here at the Backstage, the motto written across the biker gang tattoo-esque logo is "Dedicated to Pleasure", and once you step through the doors, it’s clear that the pleasure of alcohol consumption is the real focus. That’s not, of course, to minimize the glory of their extensive menu of top-notch pub food, and if you’re lucky, you just might get to witness a Co-Czar chowing down on a row of sliders.

When it comes to treating its patrons right, the Backstage does it right, designating Tuesdays as "Regular’s Night", and effortlessly creating a Sam Malone-worthy environment on non-Tuesdays unparalleled in the LA bar scene. Karaoke is offered up 3 nights a week, with the notable exception of Wednesdays. In a town where every dive bar seems to place its karaoke on our night, this offers us a welcome reprieve from "Cheeseburger in Paradise" at a bar that knows Wednesdays are for one thing only: The World Dive Bar Tour. Please join us this week for one of the true gems of the Tour.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"Heaven blazing into the head: Tragedy wrought to its uttermost. Though Hamlet rambles and Lear rages, And all the drop-scenes drop at once, Upon a hundred thousand stages, It cannot grow by an inch or an ounce"
- Yeats

Sonny McLean’s
2615 Wilshire Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90403

St. Patrick’s Day holds a special significance on the World Dive Bar Tour, as it’s the time of year when we pay homage to our Irish ancestors and the unique drinking establishments they’ve brought to this country. As the holiday itself will rarely fall on a Dive Bar Wednesday, we’ll celebrate it during the nearest prior week. Plus, WDBT has no desire to commingle with the insufferable crowd that comes out of the woodwork to get sloshed once a year on March 17th.

Alas, we head to Santa Monica to visit Sonny McLean’s, a place unlike any we’ve yet seen on the tour, fusing together the character of the dive with the fraternal warmth of the Irish pub. Step in the door and you’re bound to see a glasses of Guinness lined down the bar and two fellas yammering about all the guys named "Patrick" in their family.

Sonny’s has two..count’em…TWO Golden Tee games as well as pool, darts, and the naked-chick bar video game. They serve a respectable variety of the finest draught beer from Bud Light to Smithwick’s, and a pint of Guinness is under five bucks.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"The Irish ignore anything they can’t drink or punch."

- Irish Proverb

Gabe’s Sports Bar
2965 S. Sepulveda Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90064 (Palms)

Ahhh ’tis autumn again, and in the midst of the football season, the air blooms with the thick, pungent scent of brats, charcoal grills, and the occasional beer fart. ‘Tis a time when men and women alike gather together at their favorite sports bar to enjoy the Monday-night game, or in the case of WDBT regulars, the Wednesday-night highlights. While many a sports bar in LA may bear the outward characteristics of a dive, few posses the character and comfort found inside Gabe’s, this week’s Wednesday retreat.

Unlike the "nice" LA sports bars, Gabe’s lacks the sea of pool tables, walls covered with plasma screens, $15 pitchers, cover charges, and college sluts at the door. Aside from the cheering patrons on game days, you’ll find Gabe’s to be an affordable, serene neighborhood watering hole, adorned inside with sports paraphernalia, a few modest TVs, and the obligatory big screen in the corner. A large whiteboard tracking the NFL season standings hangs in another corner among the trophies of different bar teams. Two pool tables and dart boards are available for your entertainment as well as a jukebox full of respectable dive bar music.

Plenty of parking in the back if you find none on the street. And, don’t forget to take a walk around the corner to Hamburger Habit for pre- or post-dive eats.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"Never show weakness. The only pain that matters it he pain you inflict."

Jon Voight, Varsity Blues

Brennan’s
4089 Lincoln Blvd.
Marina Del Rey, CA 90292

It must first be said that to move the sacred Wednesday Dive to a Thursday is an occasion afforded to only the worthiest of bars. Second, to reschedule in order to visit a somewhat trendy Irish pub that barely skirts the "dive bar" qualifications is an example of leniency by we, the Co-Czars, granted only to establishments with such an excess of character as to feature, for example, bubbly, well-lubricated women lining up to race box turtles at the bellowed command of a fat man in a hockey jersey and his whistle.

From the inside, Brennan’s is not unlike your average Irish pub with its respectable selection of lager and stout, walls adorned with Gaelic charms, and a space for a live band. The expansive outdoor patio, however, is the main draw, as the ring in the center is host to the locally famous Turtle Races on Thursday nights, and it conveniently doubles as an arena for the occasional rumpus that occurs when antagonistic patrons make sarcastic remarks to passing floozy’s, without noticing the young lady’s 300lb ponytailed boyfriend following close behind. Co-Czar Alex still nurses a tender spot on his forehead from the melee caused by Co-Czar Damien’s loose tongue. The patio also features a small bar where light beer and jello shots are available for a respectable dive bar dime.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00, when the racing commences. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em!

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"This is Venice, Bitch!"

– Some geographically-challenged guy who punched Co-Czar Alex in the face in Marina Del Rey