Hinano Cafe
15 Washington Blvd.
Venice, CA 90292
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In light of Venice’s rapid gentrification, it’s nice to know that there’s still a beach bar where you can get a cheap beer, shoot some pool, and mingle with local surfer bums, hippies, and the occasional gang member. Those places are all but gone. Hinano’s is the exception. Surrounded by trendy eateries with a high douchebag quotient, this surfer shack extraordinaire has embraced the Venice mentality over the years and maintains that laid back style today.

Hinano is adorned out front with a string of Christmas lights year round and aglow with neon within. Don’t let the ski-capped eastern-European doorman checking IDs fool you. You won’t find any Kolatchys in this bar, but rather a fine variety of draught beer, a delicious and affordable bar menu served throughout the night (try the burgers), and free popcorn courtesy of the stand-up machine in the corner. Bring enough change for the PacMan and pool tables and enough greenbacks to quench your thirst as Hinano is cash only. And don’t bother with the Valets on Washington right in front of the bar (yes, it’s gotten that bad). Park on Pacific or one of the other side streets.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

Tony’s Saloon
2017 E. 7th St.
Los Angeles, CA 90021
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This Wednesday the tour will throw Los Angeles a bone. Or more specifically, throw the Los Angeles bar scene a bone. As a careful reader of this humble newsletter and as a casual attendee of the tour you will likely know that we consistently rage, rage against the dying of the light. For each dive bar where the spark of perfect accessibility is fed into the incinerator of velvet ropes, doormen, and cocktails sporting infusions of acai berries, we shed a tear and often light a few devotional candles to St. Petersburg del Florida, the patron saint of dive bars.

This week we visit Tony’s Saloon, which is not really a dive, but more of a neo-dive. Owned by the same group behind The Golden Gopher and Seven Grand, Tony’s is located at the far eastern extent of the normal dive bar territories, well off the beaten path, in the midst of the confounding hybrid industrial trendy loft landscape between Skid Row and the Los Angeles river. Tony’s offers a quality pool table, darts, and a ping pong table on the patio. There is free parking in the lot right next to the bar, but carpool if you plan on attempting to make your way through the whiskey list…. as it is much longer the those offered at our usual dives.

And, if the scene is just way to upstanding for your taste, feel free to head back west on 7th street a few blocks to Campers Corner; a dive so deep it doesn’t even have a yelp review to its name and may also be a check cashing service. We might just decline to join ya.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & where the hell is Travis? - WDBT Co-czars

"Everyone kept telling me, Just be yourself. Be yourself. I kept thinking, there’s got to be more to it than that!" -Tony Danza

Lost and Found
11700 National Blvd. #D
Los Angeles, CA 90064
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Adventure stories are based on some heavily clichéd mechanics. One, something is lost. Two, something must be found. And that said thing is always hidden in a dusty old hidden room. This week the World Dive Bar Tour quests for our lost treasure, a cheap drink. Our journey takes us to the Lost and Found, in a remodeled strip mall that just reinforces the adage, "true beauty is on the inside." The faux classical facade of fading days of consumerism and capitalist glory gives way to the warm wood paneled walls and acoustical tiled ceiling of a bygone time festooned with the trappings of a well appointed secret chamber:

A fireplace for warmth.
A crooked pool table for the sharks.
A jukebox of classic rock and soul for the previous generation.
A fancy "new" electronic dart board.
A box to fill with toys for the underprivileged youth this holiday (or christmas if you are into the culture war and live on that side of the fence) season. Why not bring something to fill your spirit with the season’s joys.
A cigarette machine for those that smoke only while drinking.
A client base with more gray hair than a powder whig trade show circa 1753.
And a bartender named Steve; graduate of Reno High School Class of 1969 and attendant of the inaugural Class of Archie Clayton Middle School (where my Pop Warner football teams practiced back-in-the-day.)

At Lost and Found, one can all find that missing ark, those mystic stones, the chalice or at least drink to forget the one that slipped away. True to its time, the payment scheme is archaic for the 21st century but these credit-less times it is back in vogue - CASH ONLY. (An ATM is on-site buy stashed next to the cig vending machine in a corner of vice.) And on a last note, there’s $3 beer.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em!

Brian, Sergeant of Arms and Legs

Whitehorse Inn
1532 N. Western Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90027

The Whitehorse Inn is a Hollywood institution and a true dive, down to the crimson and black decor, solid jukebox, cheap drinks, and eccentric patrons. In an eerie juxtaposition, though, there is also homey feel provided by its friendly elderly hostess passing around platters of chips, crackers, and microwaved hotdogs to you in the welcoming comforts and prelapsarian familiarity of the ratty couches in the sitting area, thus blending the emotions brought on by a traditional dive with those of your kind-hearted grandma’s living room.

Throw in the fact that the bar is situated under East Hollywood’s most popular hotel for transexual hookers and their clientele, and the bar begins to truly feel like a visit to grandma’s — if you and your grandmother both led sinful lives and reconvened in hell to reminisce on fond family memories. In short, it’s one of our favorite bars, and we do hope you’ll join us.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

"Poverty was an ornament on a learned man like a red ribbon on a white horse" - Anzia Yezierska  

Little Joy Cocktails
1477 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
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With Los Angeles being one of the most "single" cities in America you more than likely spent this past weekend protesting the corporatism of Valentine’s Day, convincing yourself that there is more to life than roses, chocolate hearts, and Garry Marshall films. "True love exists only inside an ice-cold can of Schlitz served by a bartender who opens it with a bowie knife," you told yourself. Perhaps you reminisced that it was under the sagging ceiling of a dark Echo Park groggery where you shared a deep connection with eclectic men and women who exemplified the bar’s namesake.

You were pining for Little Joy Cocktails, the dilapidated Sunset dive where loneliness and despair make the drinks taste better and where there’s always room on the walls to carve or paint the profane word or phrase that best describes your state of mind. Come prepared with thick-soled shoes and at least a tenner (enough for 3 beers). The cheap drinks and cozy ambiance are a solid alternative to a night at home listening to Eric Carmen and watching The Deer Hunter.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em!

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

Jumbo’s Clown Room
5153 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90027
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As the name suggests, Jumbo’s Clown Room is a magical place that some would think lives only in the mind of an innocent child. It is a relief to us all that this land of prelapsarian wonder does exist, and it does so in an East Hollywood strip-mall, in a neighborhood predominantly consisting of Thai restaurants.

From the outside, Jumbo’s bears the same sort of anonymous facade as most destinations on the tour, but inside exists freakish, yet undeniably alluring sights and sounds worthy of P.T. Barnum himself. The drink selection and pricing is that of your standard Hollywood dive, and the jukebox is strictly rock and roll, with each song carefully selected by the outgoing and friendly employees. Credit cards are accepted, however it is encouraged that you bring cash. Preferably singles.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em!

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"You oughta be ashamed of yourselves. A bunch of big guys like you, pickin’ on a poor little orphan like him. Suppose you was torn away from your mother when you was just a baby. Nobody to tuck you in at nights. No warm, soft, caressin’ trunk to snuzzle into. How would you like to be left out alone, in a cold, cruel, heartless woild? And why? I ask ya, why? Just because he’s got those big ears, they call him a freak. The laughing stock of the circus. And when his mother tried to protect him, they threw her into the clink. And on top of that, they made him a clown! Socially he’s washed up! Ah, but what’s the use of talkin’ to you cold-hearted boids? Go ahead. Have your fun. Laugh at him. Kick him now that he’s down. Go on! I don’t care."

- Timothy Q. Mouse, Dumbo

Smog Cutter
864 N. Virgil Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90029
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Step through the curtain into in this legendary Silver Lake establishment, and you’ll promptly be greeted by one of three Thai sisters, eager to check your ID. Don’t worry if you happen to be under age, though, as these ladies wouldn’t hesitate to serve a 12 year old — the thoroughness of ID checking is simply so that they can memorize your name, and call you by it for the rest of the night. Under ordinary circumstances, this level of interest in their bar’s patrons would be considered an exemplary model of customer service, except that the things they’ll be calling you for the rest of the night will not be very nice.

This is the Smog Cutter, after all — embodying either the best, or the worst, of all things dive. The place reeks of mildew, the service goes out of their way to insult you, and the drinks are warm and, surprisingly, a little overpriced given just how dire the surroundings are. But still we on the World Dive Bar Tour Executive Committee not only keep coming back for more, but have granted the Smog Cutter the honor of kicking off our 2010 calendar — a year that will undoubtedly be our best and boldest yet.

Many anecdotes come to mind to sum up all that is the Smog Cutter, from instances of crotch grabbings by the bartenders, to glass-shattering displays of karaoke madness, but it really all comes down to one member of the Executive Committee sitting with her hand on the bar, as a cockroach came scampering over her arm. With a quick "whack!", the cockroach was disposed of by a quick-thinking Czar, but the noise caused Sunshine, the legendary lead bartender, to come running.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Sunshine, "You kill Susie!"

As Sunshine cradled the dead roach in her hand, she took a closer look and, with a sigh of relief exclaimed…

"Ah, don’t worry. It just George."

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM an gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

"You must have known that I was lonely, because you came to my rescue. And I know that this must be heaven, how could so much love be inside of you?"

- Stevie Wonder

Kibitz Room
419 N. Fairfax Ave.
West Hollywood, CA 90036
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Following the observance of Yom Kippur, the predominantly goy and shichtza WDBT will pause for a stop on the tour to remember who really runs this town. While our agents, lawyers, producers, and, in stark contrast, most of the town’s great comedy writers, observed a 25-hour fast, praying for atonement and repentance in the utmost ritual purity on Monday, this Wednesday, we will pollute ourselves with manischewitz in the spirit of multiculturalism, entering the belly of the beast — the Fairfax District — to visit the Kibitz Room adjacent Canter’s Deli.

Although our understanding is that "kibitz" is a pickled herring jelly, meant for spreading on bagels or rye bread, the bar itself is Dive Bar Tour Kosher, with an old man serving up cheap drinks at a reasonable price, and a wide range of friendly clientele. The only reminder of the bar’s Jewry is the relentless singing of classic Hebrew drinking songs… "Have a tequila, have a tequila…"

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you, if the friendly regulars don’t find you first).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

"Five thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Kaufax, YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I’M LIVING IN THE PAST!"
- Walter Sobchak

Cozy Inn
11155 Washington Place
Culver City, CA 90232
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The Cozy Inn has always been a WDBT Culver City favorite, known for its subdued character, precarious location, and colorful clientele. There is always at least one Harley parked outside and a quiet group of hard-boiled, blue-collar geriatrics inside drinking Wild Turkey and Bud. People keep to themselves, but it’s always possible to make a new acquaintance for the night over a game of shuffleboard or darts.

In the two years since we last visited the Cozy, it would seem business has increased–and the douchebag quotient has risen slightly–as more post-college 20-somethings discover the Washington and Washington nexus. Nevertheless, the ambiance remains the same, and the drinks remain stiff and cheap. The Cozy is still cash only, and you can still bet on seeing bored, Culver City PD patrolling the parking lot when you leave. So be prepared for both, and remember: always drink and drive responsibly.

For quality pre-dive eats or a post-dive sobriety snack, hit up Jonnie’s Pastrami or the famous Tito’s or Cinco de Mayo taco stands, all within walking distance.

As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9PM and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many. Bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).

Carpe Drink’em,

Alex, Damien, & Travis - WDBT Co-czars

   "Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer."

                                                                    — Henry Lawson

Speak Easy
1326 Pico Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90405
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This week, WDBT visits the Speak Easy, a low-key Pico watering hole you’ve driven by a thousand times and will probably struggle to find, even with an address. Staying true to its namesake, this bar sports an inconspicuous facade, a locked front door, and accepts cash only. Due to an unfortunate accident involving a cigarette, horseshoe, and a surprise health inspection, bathtub gin and moonshine are no longer for sale. Not to worry, though. A respectable selection of beers are available for dive bar prices.
Commonly known for one or two shady-looking patrons quietly sipping their whiskey in an otherwise empty bar, the inside of the Speak Easy comes across like a mob establishment at first blush–the low patronage could also be a symptom of the location. Regardless, if you find yourself cash in hand in front of the unmanned bar, staring into the 70s-style marble-mirror behind the Jim Beam, you might peek your head outside and catch up with Ruth who is probably finishing her cigarette. She’ll gladly get to your drink when she’s done with her Newport Light.
As usual, the casual debauchery starts around 9pm and gets really interesting by 10:00. Come for one drink, or stay for one too many, bring anyone and everyone, and join us for a great time in the middle of the week. If you arrive early or late, look for the people having a damn good time (it’ll be us), or start having a damn good time on your own (we’ll find you).
Carpe Drinkem,
Alex, Damien & Travis, WDBT Co-Czars

Reporter: "Word is they’re going to repeal Prohibition. What’ll you do then?"
Eliot Ness: "I think I’ll have a drink."
- The Untouchables